a poem by Nicky Brendon
audio file

I got dressed up. Feeling dignified. My strut was bona fide fire.
I stride with a pride to my ride when my reflection caught my eye passing an outside window.
I got broadsided with a melancholy that I believed was more than justified.
And had completely occupied my mind many times before.

I was suddenly preoccupied with a doubt and fear that intensified with each step.
I felt like an austere pioneer in the uninhabitable frontal lobe’s frontier of a blemished cerebral hemisphere.  
The cheer that was in my heart had all but disappeared and severely disrupted my conduct.
It was clear that these corrupt and violent assaults were and…

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…and with that thought I smiled on the inside.
I’m learning to not chide myself or deride my disorderly dilemmas.
Or the complexities of my diseased mind and it’s intricate little white lies.

I smiled again; this time on the outside.
I had to admit to myself that the thoughts in my head were counterfeit;
And I counterbalanced it with a commitment to not sit in that malignant bullshit.
To ask for help when it persists and to explore the causes that permitted my thoughts to be commandeered.

The damage I had incurred and feared so, had disappeared as rapidly as it had appeared. 
I just assumed the thoughts that consumed my time since my leaving the womb,
Would forever have me entombed in a state of doom and gloom.

I’ve adopted a thought process to forbid these morbid thoughts.
To rid myself of these unpleasant notions which almost had me broken.
I would tolerate it no more!

I gave it no more credence and found no more reason to feed it.
It receded and finally it conceded defeat and I let the sufferance finally commence.
What a beneficial difference that the simple act of acceptance made on my insane brains chronic pain.

I built a rapport with places and spaces in me that I once adored so and also once abhorred.
All because I explored the blessing of acceptance and learned the lesson of the blessings of my quirky imperfections.

So as I stood outside looking at my reflection that had abruptly caught my attention, my dejection was replaced with an affection and adoration.
I decided to override those snide sentiments and those amusing malicious musings.
And with that I picked up my stride, feeling more satisfied then before I had arrived at that outside window and my reflection that caused me disaffection.

As I swaggered away, rather than hate, I created in me a state of grace.
I smiled big on the inside and the outside at the same time.
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Coming soon…New original poem titled “Mark’s Song” exclusive to Facebook Supporters! Be sure to sign up on Facebook today via this link!

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